My mother loved fun socks. The more outlandish the better. She had them with every possible theme: cheeseburgers and fries (her favorite lunch), Mickey Mouse (one of her favorite vacations), angels, holidays, etc. My recollection is that she started wearing themed socks when she started bowling in the Rotary Bowling League. They would compare socks each week and had fun doing it!
As her health deteriorated, she didn't need much clothing or jewelry, so I started buying her fun socks. And not just any fun socks, I sought out the best quality ones I could find. Have you every tried putting cheap socks on someone else? You need good quality, stretchy socks for that job.
Mom wore socks every day. In the last year or so, she didn't wear sandals or even slippers. She needed to wear a solid shoe or sneaker to help with her walking and balance, therefore she needed socks. When I would dress her in the morning, I would pick out socks to match the season or her t-shirt or our mood! It was always a happy time to look at the socks, pick out a pair and put them on. We both smiled.
It's six month's today that Mom is gone. About a month ago, I asked Dad if I could have some of her socks and of course he granted my wish. I have 6 pairs of her socks, all of which I bought for her. When I wear them I feel Mom is with me. It's a little hug on my feet. I find myself looking at socks when I am out shopping, then I remind myself, no she doesn't need them anymore.
I can't believe it's been six months since I have held her hand. That's what I long for most now, to simply sit beside her and hold her hand. It's what I could count on every day. Sit in the chair beside her bed and hold her hand and of course talk to her. I would tell her that days' tale of woe and she would listen. Sometimes she would react by lifting a finger to point or she might say a word or two or even smile or frown (depending on the story).
I miss her more than words and I have a lot of words. I talk to her all the time. I visit her grave frequently and talk to her. When I need it most, she sends me a sign. Recently, on my birthday, I was driving from my parent's home to the cemetery for a quick visit. The most spectacular cardinal flew directly in front of my car as I was driving. It seemed to be going in slow motion so that I could see it. This wasn't lost on me. With tears in my eyes, I silently acknowledged Mom and all of my heavenly posse. They were with me, she was with me, on this special. day.
My mother loved fun socks. Fun socks were part of our daily dressing ritual. It's a connection we share. One I don't want to break. I now wear my mother's socks, its a simply way to keep her memory alive and her spirit close at hand or in this case, close at foot.
Wishing you peace, love and sparks of fond memories, Debbie
Debbie is a wife, daughter, sister, aunt and friend to many. She served as a part-time caregiver and full-time advocate for her mother, Barbara, who passed away from Parkinson's, Alzheimer's and Dementia in July 2018. Her mission is to help caregivers not only survive but thrive during their caregiving journey!