The last update you received was seven months ago, June 15, 2018. It's been more than seven months and today, January 18, 2019, marks six months since my mother died. It's been a bittersweet six months.
I got married in October to the love of my life, Kevin. It was a magical day. While Mom was not there physically, she was there in spirit and in flowers! My best friend Mary, along with Kevin, sent me beautiful pink roses on my wedding day with a Cardinal attached to represent Mom. We carried that vase of flowers to the Ceremony where they sat on the arbor while we said our vows; we carried them to the Reception where they sat on the table with my father; Dad carried them home where they spent the night with family; and we picked up the flowers the next day and placed them at Mom's grave with my wedding bouquet. Mom loved flowers. I was filled with joy and felt her presence all weekend. What a special gift.
The grief arrived in November when everything finally quieted down. No wedding plans to confirm. No honeymoon to enjoy. I didn't recognize it at first because I was keeping busy, piling on new activities. It felt like I walking on a treadmill, lots of miles walked yet I was still in the same place.
My best friend Adam pointed out that I wasn't allowing room for the grief. I was fighting with it. I was filling my time with activities so I did not to deal with it. I knew it would hurt. I knew it would cause tears, lots of them. I wouldn't write, even though Kevin lovingly encouraged me to write. Writing would bring on the grief and the tears and I didn't want it.
Thankfully, I listened to Adam and started making room for grief. I let go of my expectations of the holidays and enjoyed them as best as I could. Kevin and I had a lovely Thanksgiving together. On Christmas Eve, I went to the Carol Sing in our town center. Mom loved this and I wanted to be as close to Mom as I could. Kevin joined me and it was wonderful. I have learned to let the tears flow when and where they want. It's OK.
As this new year begins, I am picking myself up, working on the grief and a lot of projects. Please indulge the personal nature of this newsletter. There are many things I want to share with you to bring you up to date. There are lots of plans to bring new programs, books and maybe even a product. Read on....
Wishing you peace, love and sparks of new beginnings, Debbie
Debbie Moulton is the owner of Real Life Spark, a coaching practice dedicated to Igniting the Next Generation of YOU!™